Groping pervert

George Boak

Meet George Boak.  George is a Christian faith healer.  He was also just recently convicted of groping some of his female patients while his wife of 34 years was in another room.

During the trial, George apparently showed a continued lack of remorse about the matter, made up stuff about the phenomena of “phantom hands” that he had “heard about”, but which the judge called “a significant lie.”

George wasn’t particularly bright.  As a Christian faith healer, George should have known the first cardinal rule of swindling the faithful – when you get caught, show great remorse!   It’s a virtue – how can you argue against virtue?  George should have been really, really sorry, should have used words like “weakened” and “wrong” and “confused”.  George should have repeated a request for “forgiveness” – a lot – over and over again.  Maybe invoked the power of the Messiah, Lord Jesus, to forgive sins (that might have overplayed his hand though, so he would need to be careful).

Contrition plays well both to the Christian community and to judges.

In any event, George is off to do a two-year stint in jail, and will be on the registered sex offender list for the next ten years.  Personally, I think that the two-year jail stint is a bit lenient, but I guess now that it is no longer possible to transport him to Tasmania or put him on a prison hulk somewhere, it’s the best that the British penal system can do – and really, the Tasmanians shouldn’t have to put up with him anyway.

Since George was caught, and convicted, and is being punished, I don’t feel that he qualifies for two she-bears.  He doesn’t quite deserve to be rent limb from limb by angry ursids.  So instead I send to George a tank full of man-eating seals.  Perhaps, like Thecla, he can leap boldly into his new life, and use it for good, to turn things around.

If not, there are always the seals.